ALWAYS FUN, Being A Malaysian

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:Maggi Mee.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:Traffic Jam.

NATIONAL CONDOM:None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything…

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):Food Poisoning.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy,stomach cramps, period, haven’t remove make-up, haven’t shower, no water supply, going to watch “Santa Barbara”, depress, no mood, etc…

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:Panadol. The “cure for all”. If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):Happy Hours.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:Carrefour (car-fu). Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say “Pew Jeot”. When I was in school, Milo was always ‘Mee Lo’, now that I’m sophisticated, I say “My Lo”. So don’t be embarassed saying “Carry 4” when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as “rangutan”.

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